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October 23, 2008
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Real Vamps Dont Sparkle by Foxxie-Chan Real Vamps Dont Sparkle by Foxxie-Chan
LIKE HELL THEY DO!!!

Seriously, a sparkling vampire? What will they have next? A live zombie? A hairless werewolf that changes in daylight? A beautiful lagoon creature? Yanno, why didn't they just defang the poor bugger and put him out of his misery?

Ugh... sparkling... I can't even imagine that... My inner vamp fangirl cries at the thought!

Angel... would never have been popular is he'd sparkled! Lestat would never have been hot if he'd sparkled! DRACULA would never have made vampires popular if he'd sparkled! Van Hellsing would have pointed and laughed at him rather than hunted him down!

*sigh* What self respecting vampire would sparkle? And what moronic idiot would write about one that did? There's enough lore out there to write about a 'realistic' vampire without having to smoke some crack and then make shit up. Really. *fails*

So here's my tribute to the Anti-Sparkle-Vampire Movement. Complete with pink AND sparkles! Take that fake vampires!!


:bulletpurple: Credit me if you use outside of DA.
:bulletpurple: :+fav: 's are always good!
:bulletpurple: Don't steal or redistribute my work as your own!
:bulletpurple: Enjoy!

~Foxxie
Add a Comment:
 
:iconrikuthedragonslayer:
Rikuthedragonslayer Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
More like blood sucking disco balls then vampires. Some one give Taka101 an award for Hellsing ultimate abridged and this line "A real fucking vampire" 
Reply
:iconfinalmon:
Finalmon Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014   Writer
:iconyayrumaniaplz:
Reply
:iconobsessedhetaliangirl:
obsessedhetaliangirl Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Student General Artist
YUSSS SO TRUE!!! WHAT VAMPIRE SPARKLES???? Even my character Isabell doesnt sparkle... Actually Im quite sure she could kick Edward Cullen's ass any day xDD
Reply
:iconsithassasin:
sithassasin Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Interface Designer
ha ha ha what is ironic is they have a living zombie movie, he ha he
Reply
:iconpokemonsonicgirl123:
pokemonsonicgirl123 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Romania doesn't sparkle~! :iconromania-plz:
Reply
:iconbluestargirl19:
bluestargirl19 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Damn! I'm just going to use this because I agree XD
Reply
:iconquaddie:
quaddie Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013
Hell yeah!!!!
Reply
:iconwolfofthemoons:
WolfOfTheMoons Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Can I use this??
Reply
:iconzeb31:
ZEB31 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Stupid mom. You can't write for jack! Vampires don't sparkle! They burn up in the sun!
Reply
:iconn0xi0us--glitch:
N0XI0US--GLiTCH Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I really don't see what the big deal is. xD We have sparkledogs, sparklecats, why not sparklepires? :P Twilight sucks, but sparkles are awesome. The fact that people got /so/ upset over this is /so/ amusing. Lol.
Reply
:iconfoxxie-chan:
Foxxie-Chan Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012
Because evil isn't supposed to sparkle?
Reply
:iconn0xi0us--glitch:
N0XI0US--GLiTCH Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Not all vampires are evil? o;
Reply
:iconfoxxie-chan:
Foxxie-Chan Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012
Perhaps not. But vampires, just like other supernatural creatures, are technically monsters. The majority of vampires media and folklore are considered evil.

And I think a 100 year old virgin who knocks up a teen and sparkles in the sunlight is probably ranked high among the evil ones.
Reply
:iconnarkotika718:
NARKOTIKA718 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Student General Artist
Not technically monsters. We're just regular people. Dx It really hurts my feelings to be called a monster. :tantrum:
Reply
:iconn0xi0us--glitch:
N0XI0US--GLiTCH Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Truth, truth. Still, to get upset over that. . . ahhhh.
Reply
:icongrenoreo:
grenoreo Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2012  Student Filmographer
yes!!!
Reply
:iconssbfanboy42:
SSBfanboy42 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2009
Vampires don't exist, so we don't know if they do die in the sunlight or sparkle.
Reply
:iconwolfcho:
Wolfcho Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2012
Let me ask you. How on earth is possible for a natural skin to sparkle like diamonds without the need of make up. Sparkling skin has no basic inlogic in anything halloween monster related.
Reply
:iconfoxxie-chan:
Foxxie-Chan Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2009
Your point is...?
Reply
:iconssbfanboy42:
SSBfanboy42 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2009
It's okay to change the rules for vampires.
Reply
:iconfoxxie-chan:
Foxxie-Chan Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2009
Not THAT much, dear~

Sparkles are for barbie dolls and such. NOT for blood sucking fiends!

I take it you're a fan? If so, kindly take your strange justifications for glittery vampires elsewhere. You will not win~
Reply
:iconssbfanboy42:
SSBfanboy42 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2009
I'm not fan of Twilight, in fact I could care less about it, but I'm getting sick and tired of it's fangirls and haters talking about it.
Reply
:iconfoxxie-chan:
Foxxie-Chan Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2009
One... PLEASE, for the love of humanity, check the date of this stamp. Then check the rest of my stamps. Do not judge me upon this stamp. You would be an idiot to do so.

I am NOT a hater. I dislike Twilight and I am well within my right to do so. Just like people can like it. I couldn't care less. But this IS my opinion. My opinion is vampires don't sparkle.

^^ Are you still going to complain at me for voicing an opinion? Or are you gonna call me a 'hater' some more?
Reply
:icondeathinthereaper:
DeathInTheReaper Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh yeah. I kind of twitched when people told me the Vampires in the movie sparkled. >___>;
Reply
:icondp-fan-14:
DP-FAN-14 Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2009
You rock! I love the twilight books but why the hell do they have to sparkle i mean WTF. To me the true guy is jacob.
Reply
:iconxkoshikax:
xkoshikax Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2009
Thank you. :'D
Reply
:iconmicrosuedemouse:
MicrosuedeMouse Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009  Hobbyist
EXACTLYTHANKYOUYOU'REAMAZING.

I needed this. -clings to Angel and Spike- (I can just see the two of them ripping Twilight books to shreds.)
Reply
:iconwendy9:
wendy9 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009
this has to be one of my fav stamps. EVER XD
Reply
:iconfirerose97:
FireRose97 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
Dear Twilight Vampires:

For every sparkle that your bodies eminate, a kitten dies.

....Kitten killers.

Lots of love,

FireRose97.


...XD GOD, I wish I had a box for stamps.
Reply
:iconoxycotinxgenocide:
OxycotinxGenocide Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2009
True! GaryOldman!Dracula would have been utterly lame if he had sparkled.
Reply
:iconrandomchild69:
RandomChild69 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009
Amen.
Reply
:icontristiahna:
Tristiahna Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2009
Lol so true! Seriously what kind of vampire does that? Except maybe a gay one; even then I think they'd only throw around pixie dust :P
Reply
:iconlune-du-marssi:
Lune-du-Marssi Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2009
OMG xDDD i loved your artist's coments!! It's hilarius+DAMN TRUE! Yay for REAL vampires!! :+favlove:
Reply
:iconwinndycakes:
WinndyCakes Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2009
There isn't a bloody truer statement than this. I am in full support i of it.
Reply
:icone949:
E949 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
Alucard supports this stamp.
Reply
:iconindustrialized-hippy:
industrialized-hippy Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Urrrrgh... spaaarkles. Kill them quickly!
Reply
:iconteamedward1218:
teamedward1218 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2009
what do you mean "real vampires"? real vampires dont sparkle, or burn in the sunlight-and do you know why? BECAUSE VAMPIRES DONT EXIST AT ALL-thus there really is no such thing as a "real vampire" so your comment is stupid and narrow-minded
Reply
:iconfoxxie-chan:
Foxxie-Chan Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2009
Hey, oh-lord-of-all-that-is-smart, your comment is also stupid and narrow-minded.

Take your little Twitard ass somewhere else, please. All your arguments are rendered null by the fact you are just not important enough for me to give a crap about. Sorry~
Reply
:icondefy-not-the-heart:
Defy-Not-The-Heart Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
You are amazing <3
Have you considered making a plz account for this stamp? o.o
Reply
:iconarxsa:
Arxsa Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009  Student Writer
Twilight -> A novel with all the excitement and wonder as watching paint dry on your living room wall at four in the morning, with a horrible hangover and lack of Advil. It's vague, narcissistic, and lacks anything close to proper character development. It's dreadfully repetitive, with a main character who's most repeated line or thought is how beautiful her Edward is.
165 times, to be exact.
Now, yes, vampire's are mythological, sure you can tweak them a bit, but if I said unicorns walked on two legs, slept during the day and drank blood, would they still be a unicorn? Um, no, they wouldn't, would they?
In truth, Edward Cullen is no more a vampire than I am. If anything, he's a fairy with a biting fetish.
And he ain't all that good looking either.

Cheers!

Bum Review, Twilight > [link]
Reply
:iconcaptainkurfuffle:
CaptainKurfuffle Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2009
Twilight books put shame to my DA name
Reply
:iconcaptainkurfuffle:
CaptainKurfuffle Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2009
Twilight books put shame to my DA name
Reply
:iconkittykoolkatz:
kittykoolkatz Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2009  Student Filmographer
dear god its true! :noes:
Reply
:iconcaptainkurfuffle:
CaptainKurfuffle Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009
I know *sobs*
The shame... THE SHAME!
Reply
:iconblahidontgivedamn123:
blahidontgivedamn123 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2009
if the embed code was on there i would add this to my myspace in a heart beat. this is so true.
Reply
:iconallisonrachel:
AllisonRachel Featured By Owner May 30, 2009
THANK YOU!
Reply
:iconbulletintogod:
BulletIntoGod Featured By Owner May 18, 2009
I do believe I love this =D
Reply
:iconwater-nocturne:
Water-Nocturne Featured By Owner May 15, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Woot! I :heart: it! XD Will add to meh stamp collection. :3
Reply
:iconshanky-killy:
Shanky-Killy Featured By Owner May 15, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
haha...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....THEY SHALL ALL BURN FOR THEIR SHINIES! HAHAHAHA!!! I knew I wasnt the only one who hated that ^^:

Also, I pit Lestat against Edward. Edward down in .00001 seconds
Reply
:icondarkkibagurl:
darkkibagurl Featured By Owner May 1, 2009
i know and i totally a gree but i dont rlly mind cos i just dont even dignify them as vamps vamps are cool awesome and there are so many dif versions but that is just not a vamp in teh least
and about teh fangs... ma friend told me (cos i couldnt stand completing teh book) that they apparently dont have them
Reply
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